Just about 12 hours ago, I experienced something that is totally bizarre, but yet I know that this is a gift from God showing His way to me!
At work, I was working with a kid who had been a bit sober, because his heart was hurting from the separation from his parents. In fact, he has autism which makes life even harder as he is not able to fully express himself - plus he is a KID! Life is very vulnerable. I was holding him in my arms at the outdoor playground in school today. He was laying comfortably on my shoulders - so comfortable that he does not want to move. He was just happy for the simple fact that he was embraced, hugged, and cared for! I was not totally aware of what had been happening in his life, however, as I was holding him in my arms longer, I could gradually feel his pain. It is the type of pain that greatly saddens my heart, as if life is very weak and I wonder why his parents end up not being for him. Only grandma has been strong and determined to hold things together for the better future of this kid! She is old but she knows that only having this little kid leading a happy and healthy life is the salvation to God. I tried very hard to hold my tears back at work. In fact, I tried to ignore and forget about it after work (because I'd always tell myself to be professional and be emotionally stable). After a few hours, my mind started to get occupied with this thought again - my heart kept telling me to swing by my parish. I thought that it would be cool because it was Friday night and I would always try to make it to Eucharistic Adoration if I possibly can. It is my way of inviting God in my life again, apart from serving at Sat 5pm mass.
October is the month of rosary. I was thinking to say a rosary for the need and the poor, thus I dug out my rosary to bring along as I walked from parking lot to the church. I was thinking about this little kid. All of a sudden, he appeared in front me through the windows, in the crying room of the church! I just could not believe this!
His grandma brought him to church!! Wow, the minute I was thinking about him, he was in front of me. It was when I had my ROSARY in hand! Can you believe this?
I did not plan on saying hello to them, because I thought it might be a better idea to keep some distance (as professional and personal lives should not mix too much). As grandma was trying to put the candle at the altar table, in front of the monstrance, this little man made a lot of noises to get people's attention. I immediately went up and sat behind him! I figured that if he recognizes me that he would stop what he was doing, but also he got to have some fun with me.
As soon as grandma returned, she figured that she probably did not recognize my face. However, I was just overwhelmed. Completely.
May God help and strength the heart of this little kid. I really hope that he can make this stage through... (afterall life shall be easier for you... just think of that!!!!)
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You know, there is this abandoned baby from an orphanage who's in my hospital right now. Because she has no parents to hold her, I've been visiting her regularly and holding her for the past couple weeks. It really breaks one's heart to see how excited she is to be held and to receive attention.
She can now recognize me and would only allow me and not anyone else to hold her. I love holding her but it also saddens me because very soon I cannot visit her anymore and she will have to get used to being alone again (and probably wondering why I've "abandoned" her...) Really upsetting just to think of it...
After posting this entry, I pray and finally the image of Mother Mary holding baby Jesus can comfort my most fears and anxiety...
There is a purpose why they exist. They are trying to tell something. They are trying to convert people's hearts.
Only when I pray, I begin to think the other way round that they are the ones that empower us... sometimes, the weakest one is not to be singled out, however, the weak becomes the strongest one - but only through faith!
God bless =)
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