Life as a Married Woman!

It is a wonderful long weekend of Canadian thanksgiving, which gives me the opportunity to breathe and get to write something about my new life after the wedding back in mid-August (less than 2 months ago).

As funny as it may sound, I'm still getting used to writing, signing, calling myself, and being called as 'Mrs. Chan'. It is not like story book straight-forward style, but it is a process that I can become somebody's wife. No longer a princess. No longer a little daughter. No longer single - but yet, I'm learning how to embrace life with my husband, bit by bit, step by step - like how we awkwardly did our first dance at the wedding =)

It is also my vision of building a family based upon the foundation of love and faith. Just in the past couple of days, I have received all my wedding photos and videos! I was slowly gathering info back from the wedding day - like the part that I missed from 'pick-up-the-bride' games, the pre- banquet time at Kirin, etc. I also got to know Horace's groomsmen better, because I never knew them before - except Chris, Vincent, Lenny, Wallace, Leon... of course, the LaSallian Old Boys... how can I forget them?! =)

For Horace's part, he has been on-and-of in Vancouver this year! He has been flying to India 3 times, once to Toronto, once to Hong Kong, and of course, once to Italy/Greece/Turkey with me for honeymoon (of course!!!!). For us, we went through 6 and a half years together before stepping our feet into the church door for committing as husband and wife! Albeit we would love to get married earlier, we have chosen to get married in 2008 for our relationship has matured to be able to carry on for our next stage in life...

For me, I have been wanting to become a mom of course! I have a god-daughter, a golden retriever... and teach many kids at work. Becoming a wife is another point - to be the woman of your husband. Supporting him for who he is. More importantly, supporting him to be the best of himself and of the world's vision. It is challenging for me, because in North American culture, one's individuality is highly valued. Even the clothing trend for men is getting more unisex, projecting both the male and female side of us, to outline our own individual style and self! SELF is the hot topic here - why do I think of the other way round?

As rebellious as I may still sound like a teen, I rebel what the world has been telling me. Don't get me wrong that I'm antisocial, however, I think that if we can be 'self-less' to one another, give ourselves to one another, and have faith in what serves the best for one another and for others. That's the most important thing in my life!

Horace and I are very happily married. Both of us are glad to share our special moments with all our families and friends. It is truly a blessing to receive and share our joyful union, when heaven and earth unites. From the wedding mass, I can feel the strong presence of God through readings, music from the choir, and the homily. The Trinitarian Love that Fr. Mark advises us to grow and care in each of our hearts - I am honored to be loved soooo much and thank God for all His goodness. God knows my heart and He provides.

On our honeymoon, we went to many cities through bus and the cruise. We loved our trip! It was unique. We planned to receive the Papal Blessing, but the Pope didn't meet with us when we got there... on the other hand, we went to St. John's Basilica and the House of Virgin Mary in Ephesus which even opened our minds up even more as a 'Christian'!! Why? Because we were able to follow the footsteps after the Church was founded... I'm still learning how to read the gospel of John and the book of Ephesians closely. I also learnt about the 'chi-rho' as I ignorantly didn't know about the early history of the Church, which is always one of the most controversial topic in getting into discussions about religions. I've begun to understand how Muslims also want to have peace with Christians, from our trip to Ephesus. Sometimes, we just have to be open-minded to all the ecological factors that compromise in the culture of diversity in this world. How can one be so sure if your opinion is truly the right one? I have had a hard time getting along with people who are extremely subjective - and the only way to deal with them is to ignore. Nothing is good in communicating anything to them. All they want is to use you as instruments to feed on their own philosophical way of life. Even some Evangelicals which I have encountered bunches... which have not seem to impress me at all!

On the other hand, I treasure all the gifts that we share as humans in building the community in harmony and peace. Just like in a neighborhood house. I can never get along with people who constantly think that they are the best!

Luckily, my man is not like one (anymore)! It takes a lifelong process to gradually understand how to be humble and share the genuine heart for 'people first'. Not 'computers first', not 'money first', not 'self first'... that's what I'm learning too - and my textbooks from school keep pounding on me... stop being so subjective! stop and think!! keep believing and loving!!! Or the kids at work keep taking my glasses off so that their words can be listened. They are trying to tell everyone that they can be just as SMART! They are disabled, but they are not dumb.

Life as a married woman has not been easy. Working, studying, and homemaking are all-in-one! Hopefully, when Horace is back for good in Christmas, we can comfortably sit down in our new home, enjoying our hot chocolate with roasted chestnuts, in peace and joyful harmony soon! Afterall, life is a PROCESS!!! =)

Love from Mrs. Patricia Chan