找回自己...

how do i love you when you don't love me?
how do i love myself when i don't actually love myself??
in 2010, it is a new stage to start loving those who don't love me and to love myself more!!

our hands can be a source of healing towards others!
our marriage can be a source of faith for those are seeking to God.
in 2010, it is a new stage to start passing on a stronger message for bringing peace in our broken world!!

i have met those who deserted our friendship due to the search of higher SES...
or simply, those who do not keep promises that i'd rather let them go and pray for their future with a happier direction...
i used to blame any misfortune that i lost myself eventually!
however, if we can let God to enter our relationships and heal them, there is always a way towards peace that can embrace life in a greater dimension that we can ever imagine!!
i used to be blamed that i am not very forgiving...
they are all coming from the mouths of those who don't love me...
however, i will always love you all although you don't love me.
however, i will always love you in a way that is different than the way you claim to love me.
however, i will always love you in a greater way in forgiving your wrongs and forgetting our broken past.
will there be one day that you finally get to understand and stop blaming me for not loving you in the way that you perceive?
is that really my problem that our feelings can't be communicated??
is that really my problem that i could not express myself when my heart was in pain till numbness??
does it justify that you desert me and seek for a life that only is happy to yourself (without me)?
if this is a happy way for you, why do you have to come back to me and demand a way to satisfy your personal needs again?
i can never reconcile with those who think only about themselves.

if only one day, i can finally see heaven with my grandparents to nurture all of my grandchildren =) i can find peace to all these questions being pressed upon my shoulders in an ever demanding way. i long to build a rainbow with all the little children circling and singing for their future!! this will always be my goal...