What does it mean to get married?!

When people think of marriage, they may come up with images of romance with beautiful dresses, blessings, and many colors of warmth and love...

To me, marriage is something abstract that truly exists. As paradoxical as it seems, it is a relationship that is shared between a male and a female in holy union, ruled and lived out by LOVE.

When I firstly said 'yes' to my fiancee who proposed to me in the summer, I didn't know a lot about marriages - or even, I get discouraged from the stories of my friends, or from my first teachers - my parents. Mixed feelings and thoughts circle in my mind. I truly believe in love, but how can you be sure that your partner is also true in love? (or sometimes, how do you know if you yourself is truly in love or not?)

It is a gift that as I was listening to 'Theology of the Body' by JPII, I learn how to think with inspiration that how a male and female earn salvation in God - and each marriage has a message to tell the world. At often times, I come across with individuals with their own self-interests in pursuing benefits of marriages. Although I don't enjoy seeing them, I can see the point where they come from - it is rooted out from fear and thoughts only about SELF.

In a marriage, if love doesn't exist, it is only a legal contract involved with economic benefits. I think that may be still ok at some point - but what about kids if they ever have one? Or maybe that is the reason why some couples don't want kids?

Having worked with kids, I have come to see how important it is for a family to develop when mom and dad have a good and supportive relationship. Think twice before entering a marriage! Some may think that putting the kid as a priority in the relationship, but unfortunately when two people aren't in good terms, how can the kid feel warm and safe truly? (or simply painting a fake picture of warmth and safety to the kids, who will eventually grow out and know how hurtful for this lie has long existed)

Another point to consider, how do you know if your partner is also interested in someone else (a third party) after marriage? It is like a 'what-if' hypothetical question, but this problem truly exists. In the present society, if a man spends a big chunk of time in developing a successful career, the chances are much higher because young women often find a crush on him. That also works in the opposite gender too.

How do you know if 'morality' exists in the world we live in?

Lately, my fiancee and I have been discussing about the topic of 'morality.' How do you know if I am moral? How do you know if I act morally?

I have a 5-year old student who once asks me, "Why are there rules in the world? I don't like them, because I just want to do what I want."

Probably caught surprised by this question, I tried my best to answer: Let's say - one day your best friend in school comes up to you and takes your favorite toy away from you and says, "I take your toy and it's mine, because I like it and that's what I want to do." How would you feel?

Rules exist for a reason. I understand that adults and children don't like rules. They exist to provide not only social order, but also provide love and peace. How can that be? Well, something between a man and woman - like marriage, can there be no rules? Can there just be self-interests or instant gratification, without hurting anyone (whether it be your true-half, or your children)?

I was trying to give a simple answer: respect. How can we give respect to other people? Children may not grasp this easily, because they were just simply taught by parents to do it, without knowing why. Love is respect - when you love a person, you respect the other person: be it right or wrong, to let him/her do and go. This is very difficult, but respecting others also gives me the opportunity to respect myself.

I don't know what the society was like back in 50 years ago - it was probably more 'moral' than nowadays, but all I can say is that if we aren't playing the rules right in life, the price will eventually have to be paid.

Hope that I've learnt how to do things right in the first place.
Also, it is more committed to do it right than to do it wrong...
Cherish the life granted and make good use of the time for making the world a better place to live! (because some may never have this chance to - but we have)

Getting married is such a complex topic! :)