Man and Responsibility

I have been dying to see men having a sense of responsibility for home and for church. During the wartime years, men were absent because they enrolled in the warfront to fight and left behind their families and jobs in the home country. As a daughter of a merchant, I rarely saw dad at home because he was always somewhere traveling. Even when I grew up as a teenager and an adult, he was maybe 1/4 to 1/2 of the time seeing my growth. Because men work so much that they rarely see their wives and children, wives become the head of the family in the absence of these men.

When women were doing their domestic duties and social roles, men usually found their easy way out by staying cross-armed and rarely offered help as they belonged to the family or to the church. Men were good at pointing out problems, but they did not realize that they were the creator of the problem and therefore had to do something to change the situation. Men were good at getting mama and sisters to do everything for them, or sometimes mama as the only son of the family, to get all the attention that he desired. Men were interested only in their careers, leaving the family and church duties for mama, sisters, or wives to fulfill for them in order for them to enjoy the freetime for soccer, Gundams, and computer internet surfing. Men were complaining and getting verbally/ physically violent when things do not work their ways, which eventually lead them to psychiatric hospital because they drove themselves into sanity.

In the past, the concept of 'husbandry' was about the cultivation of soil applied to agriculture. Husbands were required to use tools and machines to make an open land ready for use. Men take the responsibility of protecting and caring for mama, sisters, and wives in the family.

My heart got tired of seeing the situation of women being the 'perfect housewife.' I rarely laughed because all the past life experiences got me depressed. Sometimes, I just wish that I could be young again and have all the girls' talk with my mother. As a woman, what makes me happy is to see my father, my brother, and my husband cooperate to build the family and make a constructive space for harmony. They are all healthy, responsible, kind, and sharing to one another. Being responsible did not mean just financial sense, but the presence of their bodies and the spirit of their minds to integrate with their family members and share some heart-warming laughters.

Lately, I was watching a lot of funny videos to put myself off the pressure of daily work, e-mails, and time schedule demands. I see my life as a new page at a new home, but I also very much miss the woofing times and the old decoration of my maternal home that fulfilled my days of loneliness and sadness with fun and joy! Hopefully, one day I could find a way to make a happy home soon!