Today, I have been on my 4th day of USANA Reset program diet. Honestly, I think that I've failed quite bad because I missed two meals of milkshake - on the first day and the third day. In between meals, I ate more than 1 serving of vegetables and sometimes had a couple bites of sweet stuff. I try to make my veggies a bit plain at first - just with lime juice. However, I have found that it's kind of unbearable without tasting anything, thus I went ahead to put white/ black/ red peppers, basil/ oregano, and lemon juice (for substituting lime juice).
We tried zucchini, tomatoes, portabello, mushrooms, banana peppers, eggplants, and lettuce. The vegetables add a lot of life into our regular health routines. We respect the environment and become more self-conscious about our own health system.
I come to respect the vegetables better these days, because I rarely know how to relate to them in any other creative ways except boiling them. Now I know how to grill them more properly before they turn bad.
I also remember how I grew my own vegetables organically at home. It takes a long time (at least 2-3 months) for a cucumber to grow from seeds into a fruit!!! It takes the planter's patience and effort to make them happening. When I hold these vegetables that I bought from farm in my own hands, I become more aware of what I am eating that are effecting my body and the environment.
Eating more healthily is not a short-term passion, but it is a change in our lifestyle for better health!
I hope that I could continue on with more thoughts on exercising! Because right now, I am busy with settling in my home which takes up a lot of energy too!!
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Weight Loss Journey
I started trying the USANA Reset program on August 5 (Thurs) to kick start my dieting plan for the goal of losing 30 lbs. On the first day, I was very excited to start the milkshake and nutribars for the morning and the evening with supplements, while I only had a cold ramen (low-glycemic meal) in the afternoon. I didn't know that I had to switch all my 3 meals into milkshake content that I left out 1 meal to achieve the best results of the first day.
As the second day (August 6) went, I thought that it would be a total disaster because it was my husband's birthday. Without much planning ahead, I just said to myself that I had to keep my nutrimeals going, while my husband and my brother will celebrate with BBQ foods/ Thai foods/ and Japadogs. On top of my nutrimeals, I ate just a lot of veggies (eg. grilled zuccini, portebello, eggplant, edamame salad, onion/ lettuce/ tomato salad) and one serving of fruits (which are blueberries only). I thought I did a pretty a good job, except I could not withhold with one bite of toasted marshmellow and two scoops of green tea tofu cheesecake because of my sweet-tooth on my hubby's b-day. In a hindsight, if it were for the USANA Reset program, I would eat a lot of BBQ meat while going for Jap kebab foods at night - it would be a lot of intake with protein, sugar, and fat. However, the concept of going hi-fiber is still not very strong in my mind - firstly, it was because I don't think a lot about fiber, but I do have a good job thinking about going vegetarian. Secondly, I don't think any foods for celebration are hi-fiber - would a birthday cake be hi-fiber? My milkshake contains over 12 kinds of water-soluble and non-soluble proteins that I don't have to worry about not taking enough fiber inside the health system. It feels good to be taken care of the basic needs that I just have to focus my mind on thinking about healthy foods and doing exercises. On the other hand, I also went to the bathroom much more often because my intestines were always making sound. The fiber contents were making me to excrete waste in healthy forms, but in more frequent ways. At the end of the second day, I weigh myself going from 160 lbs to 157 lbs - losing 3 lbs!!!!!!
This morning, I woke up craving about the foods that I could not have yesterday. However, I kept on drinking my breakfast milkshake, which makes me feel very comfortable and heart-warming (because I know that this is good for me). In fact, I discovered that I have little resistance towards sweet things, as well I like to taste and chew the tasty foods like Thai. I don't necessarily feel hungry to eat those, because during the last evening when I finished my strawberry milkshake in the movie theater with my husband that my stomach and my brain tell me that I cannot take in more milkshake anymore. However, I still wanted to eat what my husband ate, eg. Tong Yum Gai, Fish Cake, Beef Salad, and Japadog. As well, everyone around me in the movie theater were holding bags of popcorn, fried chicken, and fries. When I smelled those foods, though it makes my brain feeling a bit craved, but I wanted to vomit as the same time because those foods would definitely make my body sick. It was a good sign because the defensive system of my dieting started to kick in! I wanted to lose weigh and feel better! It was crazy in the world seeing lots of people doing things that are not supposed to be good to themselves... how could I be different from them? Where could I get the support to be different and be healthy again?
I feel happy to be able to share all my feelings about my weight loss journey here! Hope that I will succeed all the way - from 5 lbs to 10 lbs!!! (eventually, 30 lbs!!!!)
As the second day (August 6) went, I thought that it would be a total disaster because it was my husband's birthday. Without much planning ahead, I just said to myself that I had to keep my nutrimeals going, while my husband and my brother will celebrate with BBQ foods/ Thai foods/ and Japadogs. On top of my nutrimeals, I ate just a lot of veggies (eg. grilled zuccini, portebello, eggplant, edamame salad, onion/ lettuce/ tomato salad) and one serving of fruits (which are blueberries only). I thought I did a pretty a good job, except I could not withhold with one bite of toasted marshmellow and two scoops of green tea tofu cheesecake because of my sweet-tooth on my hubby's b-day. In a hindsight, if it were for the USANA Reset program, I would eat a lot of BBQ meat while going for Jap kebab foods at night - it would be a lot of intake with protein, sugar, and fat. However, the concept of going hi-fiber is still not very strong in my mind - firstly, it was because I don't think a lot about fiber, but I do have a good job thinking about going vegetarian. Secondly, I don't think any foods for celebration are hi-fiber - would a birthday cake be hi-fiber? My milkshake contains over 12 kinds of water-soluble and non-soluble proteins that I don't have to worry about not taking enough fiber inside the health system. It feels good to be taken care of the basic needs that I just have to focus my mind on thinking about healthy foods and doing exercises. On the other hand, I also went to the bathroom much more often because my intestines were always making sound. The fiber contents were making me to excrete waste in healthy forms, but in more frequent ways. At the end of the second day, I weigh myself going from 160 lbs to 157 lbs - losing 3 lbs!!!!!!
This morning, I woke up craving about the foods that I could not have yesterday. However, I kept on drinking my breakfast milkshake, which makes me feel very comfortable and heart-warming (because I know that this is good for me). In fact, I discovered that I have little resistance towards sweet things, as well I like to taste and chew the tasty foods like Thai. I don't necessarily feel hungry to eat those, because during the last evening when I finished my strawberry milkshake in the movie theater with my husband that my stomach and my brain tell me that I cannot take in more milkshake anymore. However, I still wanted to eat what my husband ate, eg. Tong Yum Gai, Fish Cake, Beef Salad, and Japadog. As well, everyone around me in the movie theater were holding bags of popcorn, fried chicken, and fries. When I smelled those foods, though it makes my brain feeling a bit craved, but I wanted to vomit as the same time because those foods would definitely make my body sick. It was a good sign because the defensive system of my dieting started to kick in! I wanted to lose weigh and feel better! It was crazy in the world seeing lots of people doing things that are not supposed to be good to themselves... how could I be different from them? Where could I get the support to be different and be healthy again?
I feel happy to be able to share all my feelings about my weight loss journey here! Hope that I will succeed all the way - from 5 lbs to 10 lbs!!! (eventually, 30 lbs!!!!)
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
A Restful Long Weekend...
As banal as it seems, time flies for the lovely summer in Vancouver! I had so much fun back in July to host my father, Tammy, and a couple of friends' gatherings (eg. church girls, LaSallian boys, choir house blessing). To me, life was chaotic but yet it was meaningful for all those who have visited and left a mark in our early stage of homing.
Because I had to catch up with a couple of galfriends for crafts, we met up to make a couple of cards and share some life stories. Although I have been avoiding to think of a friend who used to make himself 'king' all the time, I am happy for the fact that he is moving onto the next level in life. Certainly, with the high profile of publicity, I need no personal e-mails but yet I still hear about his updates from time to time either from the word of mouth or the mass media. It felt to me almost that the church is crying out loud for having young men to search for vocation. I have two other close friends who are priests, but I guess that they are more mature that I accept them and their vocation. However, is it always a wise idea to promote priestly vocation amongst young men? On the other hand, I'm also seeing a couple of failing examples who are trying to escape from the fact that vocations are not for them. In fact, I'm personally fine with it because we can also learn from these young men as positive examples about discernment to seek holiness in our lives through marriage. It is no sin to get married and have babies!!! I don't see a point why wives get persecuted if their men do not serve the church. Perhaps I sound too harshly from my previous statement. I honestly believe that men should have a desire to become a wise figure seeking God's ways, as opposed to the earthly ways, to stay faithful and practise charity. If people are looking for salaries, societal status, same-aged friends, dating with church girls, or simply dependence upon majors, it would be no point for them to stay serving the community because this is not what the body of Christ is looking for. However, I hope that through prayer we all come to purify our hearts for the sole purpose of serving His Body and His Blood to spread the Good News. I respect those who practise the language of love in their lives by loving their neighbors and giving life to the community.
I also have to honestly reconcile with the older ways of Cantonese tradition, in terms of competition and selfishness. Sometimes, I ask God why I had to immigrate to Canada for studying, working, and getting married here. What is His mission for me? Am I fulfilling His purpose well enough? I just know that my mother and my two family dogs have been gone. I could not keep a house, take care of my brother, and support my father. Was it my fault? Alternatively, am I supposed to blame the perpetrator who deeply hurt our family? Now that I have moved on with a new life, are we coming together as a family finally after all these years? I don't seem to understand all of the nonsense; however, I just know that if I ever want to praise and worship God through a community of sisters in Christ. The males in my life hasn't been too cooperative, kind, and helpful to work out God's plan - because they always want their plans in place, which make me sick, sick, sick... Imagine if there's one (perhaps just my husband), that would be fine. However, it was over a group of five, ten, and more... and they kept reappearing, reappearing... everywhere I go - does it sound like a twilight nightmare? (that's why I cannot sleep now for writing at 4am here) I do not seem to enjoy any of these at all - I wish I could stay away from them. Leave me alone!
As interesting as it can be, men have sore spots that want no one to touch. They were an unreasonable bunch to insist their ways without respecting the other females around. If they ever need a mama to teach them a lesson, I think that we should get dog trainers to chain them into kennels waiting to be re-trained and re-adopted. Sometimes, I don't understand why being a 'king' means so much to them, perhaps they could not find success in their daily lives in career that they need to have a space somewhere else to demonstrate that they are 'the best of the world.' I am not man-bashing, because if he truly loves his life and family with a whole heart, this would not appear to be a problem at all. A good, old, and wise man knows how to make their families happy, healthy, and prosper! Now - do we see anything happening here? Ha, duh! None! As funny as it sounds to me... hahaha
Lots of drama for me to see, contemplate, and watch...
Life is yet to be revealed...
I think that there is a wisdom to many things in life. I see the point why I met this galfriend of mine and shared some stories together. Sometimes, making crafts can definitely be therapeutic after all! =)
Because I had to catch up with a couple of galfriends for crafts, we met up to make a couple of cards and share some life stories. Although I have been avoiding to think of a friend who used to make himself 'king' all the time, I am happy for the fact that he is moving onto the next level in life. Certainly, with the high profile of publicity, I need no personal e-mails but yet I still hear about his updates from time to time either from the word of mouth or the mass media. It felt to me almost that the church is crying out loud for having young men to search for vocation. I have two other close friends who are priests, but I guess that they are more mature that I accept them and their vocation. However, is it always a wise idea to promote priestly vocation amongst young men? On the other hand, I'm also seeing a couple of failing examples who are trying to escape from the fact that vocations are not for them. In fact, I'm personally fine with it because we can also learn from these young men as positive examples about discernment to seek holiness in our lives through marriage. It is no sin to get married and have babies!!! I don't see a point why wives get persecuted if their men do not serve the church. Perhaps I sound too harshly from my previous statement. I honestly believe that men should have a desire to become a wise figure seeking God's ways, as opposed to the earthly ways, to stay faithful and practise charity. If people are looking for salaries, societal status, same-aged friends, dating with church girls, or simply dependence upon majors, it would be no point for them to stay serving the community because this is not what the body of Christ is looking for. However, I hope that through prayer we all come to purify our hearts for the sole purpose of serving His Body and His Blood to spread the Good News. I respect those who practise the language of love in their lives by loving their neighbors and giving life to the community.
I also have to honestly reconcile with the older ways of Cantonese tradition, in terms of competition and selfishness. Sometimes, I ask God why I had to immigrate to Canada for studying, working, and getting married here. What is His mission for me? Am I fulfilling His purpose well enough? I just know that my mother and my two family dogs have been gone. I could not keep a house, take care of my brother, and support my father. Was it my fault? Alternatively, am I supposed to blame the perpetrator who deeply hurt our family? Now that I have moved on with a new life, are we coming together as a family finally after all these years? I don't seem to understand all of the nonsense; however, I just know that if I ever want to praise and worship God through a community of sisters in Christ. The males in my life hasn't been too cooperative, kind, and helpful to work out God's plan - because they always want their plans in place, which make me sick, sick, sick... Imagine if there's one (perhaps just my husband), that would be fine. However, it was over a group of five, ten, and more... and they kept reappearing, reappearing... everywhere I go - does it sound like a twilight nightmare? (that's why I cannot sleep now for writing at 4am here) I do not seem to enjoy any of these at all - I wish I could stay away from them. Leave me alone!
As interesting as it can be, men have sore spots that want no one to touch. They were an unreasonable bunch to insist their ways without respecting the other females around. If they ever need a mama to teach them a lesson, I think that we should get dog trainers to chain them into kennels waiting to be re-trained and re-adopted. Sometimes, I don't understand why being a 'king' means so much to them, perhaps they could not find success in their daily lives in career that they need to have a space somewhere else to demonstrate that they are 'the best of the world.' I am not man-bashing, because if he truly loves his life and family with a whole heart, this would not appear to be a problem at all. A good, old, and wise man knows how to make their families happy, healthy, and prosper! Now - do we see anything happening here? Ha, duh! None! As funny as it sounds to me... hahaha
Lots of drama for me to see, contemplate, and watch...
Life is yet to be revealed...
I think that there is a wisdom to many things in life. I see the point why I met this galfriend of mine and shared some stories together. Sometimes, making crafts can definitely be therapeutic after all! =)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Feelings about Wedding
I was once a bride about 2 years ago on my wedding day with my present hubby. Though people kept telling me how it felt like just happened yesterday, our lives have merged closer and closer together day by day. The wedding day was not an automatic switch for our relationship to grow stronger; however, everything just had to start through step-by-step like babies do.
People always have a preconception about the age of 30 as a benchmark for women to get married. For me, numbers are just numbers, which should mean that life is better. If a woman gets married by 30, but life is more miserable with an unsuitable partner - why bother? It's hard to imagine that there is a set of rules to all these wedding businesses. Most importantly, I think that women should know why they are married to this men and have to fall madly with this person with the rest of their lives, because men would always do or say things to make them feel unloved, unimportant, and neglected.
Since my own wedding, I have a couple of good gal friends who have decided to take on the road of marriage as well. Wedding is an emotional experience - there is nothing that makes the bride and the groom happy, except the love and blessings from everyone and everywhere. I was quite an immature girl without knowing much about love and relationships, but now I think as I got married that the mysteries have started revealing themselves. If I do good, things would have turned good; if I do bad, things would have been the opposite. I must say that I love God more than anything else. Though I demand nothing from God, except His Love for me. It was His salvific love that picked me up from the darkest valleys. I though I'd never trust or love anyone again, but He showed me the way with my husband to seek peace through charity, forgiveness, and unity. Though the wedding day should be the day of heaven for the newly-wed, life just began for them which they shall live out themselves to the fullest as they did firstly promise to one another with God through their vows. I keep reminding myself about how much I could do for my husband and our families, simply because God loves us. I hope that my friends who will be getting married will always live out their love for one another - to bring more others into the presence of Jesus and let God love and change their hearts. I hope that weddings are for a lifetime, because the roles of a man and a woman representing the state of humanity will transform the world and build new homes. May God love more people through these young homes that even the enemies would find a new way into love and life.
How lucky I am to have good friends to share these meaningful life experiences and promises to fulfill a new and better way of life! I love you all.
People always have a preconception about the age of 30 as a benchmark for women to get married. For me, numbers are just numbers, which should mean that life is better. If a woman gets married by 30, but life is more miserable with an unsuitable partner - why bother? It's hard to imagine that there is a set of rules to all these wedding businesses. Most importantly, I think that women should know why they are married to this men and have to fall madly with this person with the rest of their lives, because men would always do or say things to make them feel unloved, unimportant, and neglected.
Since my own wedding, I have a couple of good gal friends who have decided to take on the road of marriage as well. Wedding is an emotional experience - there is nothing that makes the bride and the groom happy, except the love and blessings from everyone and everywhere. I was quite an immature girl without knowing much about love and relationships, but now I think as I got married that the mysteries have started revealing themselves. If I do good, things would have turned good; if I do bad, things would have been the opposite. I must say that I love God more than anything else. Though I demand nothing from God, except His Love for me. It was His salvific love that picked me up from the darkest valleys. I though I'd never trust or love anyone again, but He showed me the way with my husband to seek peace through charity, forgiveness, and unity. Though the wedding day should be the day of heaven for the newly-wed, life just began for them which they shall live out themselves to the fullest as they did firstly promise to one another with God through their vows. I keep reminding myself about how much I could do for my husband and our families, simply because God loves us. I hope that my friends who will be getting married will always live out their love for one another - to bring more others into the presence of Jesus and let God love and change their hearts. I hope that weddings are for a lifetime, because the roles of a man and a woman representing the state of humanity will transform the world and build new homes. May God love more people through these young homes that even the enemies would find a new way into love and life.
How lucky I am to have good friends to share these meaningful life experiences and promises to fulfill a new and better way of life! I love you all.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Budgetting and Organizing
As the summer is approaching towards the hottest days, my brain is also melting just like as if I am in a melting aluminum pot at the liquid state. Nothing is making any sense to me! I had to review things that have happened in the past 3 months. Though I had a side-trip to LA after my piano exam, it was only because Horace was having a work conference down there. I hope that I could just relax with him at home with some pampering of local shows, food, and visits. My father came for 3 months, while my friends from HK also crashed into my home for about 1 week. We also had a couple of housewarming parties which I invited over 20 friends!
In fact, we just moved into this new home around mid-March. Just four months ago, one of us worked in India while I was stuck in town unpacking all the boxes. I didn't know how I made it, but I did! At least, the labor work had to start somewhere... with a bit more understanding about what we have and what need displaying everywhere in the house, we would h0pe to take the month of August to sit down for organizing and budgeting our expenses for this second stage in life. Seems like life is just super chaotic with little mindful spirits around due to the so-called 'lack of time' syndrome. Living at the present moment with a peaceful and harmonic chord is what is the most important!
I'm actually very happy to have gone to Mariapolis Retreat, where it teaches me about the values that I have always struggled putting into words within a modern world perspective! It is especially important to share the ideas and feelings that I have towards a broken world and that how love makes everything becoming a reality and bringing liveliness in to the fullness of human living!
I was very blessed to see many good friends whom I haven't caught up for a long time. However, I know that they are always there for me when I need them!
Luckily, this blog of mine is not read by millions of people around the world - though I hope they are keeping in touch with me and paying attention towards me :) Facebook is good enough for that purpose already. I think I still like writing here for sharing some longer and personal thoughts, just because it is like YOGA that it is time to BREATHE!
With LOVE!!!
In fact, we just moved into this new home around mid-March. Just four months ago, one of us worked in India while I was stuck in town unpacking all the boxes. I didn't know how I made it, but I did! At least, the labor work had to start somewhere... with a bit more understanding about what we have and what need displaying everywhere in the house, we would h0pe to take the month of August to sit down for organizing and budgeting our expenses for this second stage in life. Seems like life is just super chaotic with little mindful spirits around due to the so-called 'lack of time' syndrome. Living at the present moment with a peaceful and harmonic chord is what is the most important!
I'm actually very happy to have gone to Mariapolis Retreat, where it teaches me about the values that I have always struggled putting into words within a modern world perspective! It is especially important to share the ideas and feelings that I have towards a broken world and that how love makes everything becoming a reality and bringing liveliness in to the fullness of human living!
I was very blessed to see many good friends whom I haven't caught up for a long time. However, I know that they are always there for me when I need them!
Luckily, this blog of mine is not read by millions of people around the world - though I hope they are keeping in touch with me and paying attention towards me :) Facebook is good enough for that purpose already. I think I still like writing here for sharing some longer and personal thoughts, just because it is like YOGA that it is time to BREATHE!
With LOVE!!!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Shows, shows, shows
This week, I have been watching movies in the theater/ at home, as well as live dramas on stage. Toy Story 3, Despicable Me, and Joseph + the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. There is a bit more time for me to sit back and catch up many things. I thought I'd be all flattened out, but miraculously I could still do a bit more homework, housework, e-mail catch-ups, etc, on the side. I love the fact that it's show-time that I don't have to work and be drawn out anymore. I guess I really need the time for a good rest.
My hubby would always write a lot of interesting ideas, reviews, and essays on his blog. As for mine, I just want a place to share my feelings! Nothing is more important than sharing a meaningful experience with a friend - if you are my friend, you know what I mean. It does not take a friend to share a lot of information, because I can always go on the internet to find information or talk to someone who works in the field. Anyway, I think he'd like to call me a old-fashioned buddy, but I really enjoy the time when I don't have to meet people online. I refrain from chatting, though I do more skype and facebook. E-mails are mostly for work. Sometimes, I can't seem to find a fine balance between the real and the cyber worlds, but I'll keep trying.
My hubby would always write a lot of interesting ideas, reviews, and essays on his blog. As for mine, I just want a place to share my feelings! Nothing is more important than sharing a meaningful experience with a friend - if you are my friend, you know what I mean. It does not take a friend to share a lot of information, because I can always go on the internet to find information or talk to someone who works in the field. Anyway, I think he'd like to call me a old-fashioned buddy, but I really enjoy the time when I don't have to meet people online. I refrain from chatting, though I do more skype and facebook. E-mails are mostly for work. Sometimes, I can't seem to find a fine balance between the real and the cyber worlds, but I'll keep trying.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Growing up from a single-parent home!
After almost 10 years, I am more mature to talk about the impacts of my mother's sudden death that occurred in our family. The loss was too painful to bear that my brain could not process anything regarding the understanding of both the medical and legal procedures at the age of 19. Even now, as I have to read through pages of getting her remains to be cremated after the ten-year rental of burial site. I am surprised that I can finally face the terrible scenes of both physical and emotion hurt that my mother faced before her departure to heaven. I am glad that I have feelings and can handle them, because I knew that I wasn't able to do that at all - except keep living on a life that cheers up my bro and father.
I encouraged my father to act as both a father and a mother in the family on my wedding day! He loves me and wants me to be happy even after leaving him to become somebody's wife. It's tough, but yet our dog, Charlie, has made a good transition for handing me over! (better than my father) Imagine - when everyone in the family is sick, you could not do anything except trusting the Lord to shine the Light of salvation into our family. There is nothing worse than death if life isn't worth living. I remember from FIFA about the game with Argentinians vs. Germans that the Argentinians should pack their baggages home w/o wasting my time and money, because the Argentinians were completely wiped out by the other team w/o putting any extra efforts to make a miracle happen! I hate games like this - same as living in daily life that we have to give in our total self to love! Yet - it's easier to say than to do. When there is unknown sickness in our psyche, the cycle can only be broken through the celebration of Christ in our lives.
I have always thought of getting married to the Church, which means to become a sister, at the very back of my mind from a young age. I have always been attracted to the beautiful stories of saints, the loving hymns, and the coloring books from religious studies classes. Getting married into a family who rarely practises the Catholic faith is a big challenge for me, because I wonder how can I reconcile this brokenness without being too bossy? Same as the idea of how a single parent could manage a household, if the family does not practise the same faith together very often?
However, I shall declare that my father is a very good man because he is a good father to me. God reveals the mysteries of faith through the beginnings of my life, as I trust in the goodness of my father. I hope that one day my brother would also do the same!
I encouraged my father to act as both a father and a mother in the family on my wedding day! He loves me and wants me to be happy even after leaving him to become somebody's wife. It's tough, but yet our dog, Charlie, has made a good transition for handing me over! (better than my father) Imagine - when everyone in the family is sick, you could not do anything except trusting the Lord to shine the Light of salvation into our family. There is nothing worse than death if life isn't worth living. I remember from FIFA about the game with Argentinians vs. Germans that the Argentinians should pack their baggages home w/o wasting my time and money, because the Argentinians were completely wiped out by the other team w/o putting any extra efforts to make a miracle happen! I hate games like this - same as living in daily life that we have to give in our total self to love! Yet - it's easier to say than to do. When there is unknown sickness in our psyche, the cycle can only be broken through the celebration of Christ in our lives.
I have always thought of getting married to the Church, which means to become a sister, at the very back of my mind from a young age. I have always been attracted to the beautiful stories of saints, the loving hymns, and the coloring books from religious studies classes. Getting married into a family who rarely practises the Catholic faith is a big challenge for me, because I wonder how can I reconcile this brokenness without being too bossy? Same as the idea of how a single parent could manage a household, if the family does not practise the same faith together very often?
However, I shall declare that my father is a very good man because he is a good father to me. God reveals the mysteries of faith through the beginnings of my life, as I trust in the goodness of my father. I hope that one day my brother would also do the same!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Stillness
Last weekend, I attended the retreat of Mariapolis in the midst of personal and family commitments. I didn't expect anything before the retreat, thus I just went with a heart of letting God's will and His spirit to guide me along the way. God never failed upon me - as long as I emptied myself, I saw heaven with a grateful heart. The stillness of God's spirit gave me a lot of inner strength to build upon stronger relationships with my family members. I am still very surprised with the peaceful messages that are ringing in my everyday life now!
There have been many things happening since the last month of June!
1. Piano Exam - I could now proceed into ARCT Performer's and prepare my current students for future exams
2. LA Trip - I went to visit my hubby at his work conference and brought him to Disneyland. I was lucky to have visited Peter Li and his family!
3. Mariapolis Retreat - I had to take this retreat as a priority over FIFA! That was hard!! I was delighted to see Maria before she will be back to Hong Kong for good.
4. Best friends' visit - My maid-of-honor, Tammy, came to visit me with her friend, Christie, from their graduating class! Congrats with best wishes upon their career!
5. Housewarming parties - with Chin, Grace, Tim, Muffin, Brenda, Germ, Celine, Alvina, Carmen, Uncle Peter Choy and family, Uncle Peter Lung and family, Lu and family
6. Friends' weddings - Billy & Shelley, Denny & Jenny, and Agnes & Walter
Most importantly, I have to gradually let other volunteers to take over several choir duties in preparation for the crazy Term 1 of 11 courses!!!
A well-rested break is desperately needed... hope the stillness of heart would be fervently alive for the rest of my summer days.
There have been many things happening since the last month of June!
1. Piano Exam - I could now proceed into ARCT Performer's and prepare my current students for future exams
2. LA Trip - I went to visit my hubby at his work conference and brought him to Disneyland. I was lucky to have visited Peter Li and his family!
3. Mariapolis Retreat - I had to take this retreat as a priority over FIFA! That was hard!! I was delighted to see Maria before she will be back to Hong Kong for good.
4. Best friends' visit - My maid-of-honor, Tammy, came to visit me with her friend, Christie, from their graduating class! Congrats with best wishes upon their career!
5. Housewarming parties - with Chin, Grace, Tim, Muffin, Brenda, Germ, Celine, Alvina, Carmen, Uncle Peter Choy and family, Uncle Peter Lung and family, Lu and family
6. Friends' weddings - Billy & Shelley, Denny & Jenny, and Agnes & Walter
Most importantly, I have to gradually let other volunteers to take over several choir duties in preparation for the crazy Term 1 of 11 courses!!!
A well-rested break is desperately needed... hope the stillness of heart would be fervently alive for the rest of my summer days.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Man and Responsibility
I have been dying to see men having a sense of responsibility for home and for church. During the wartime years, men were absent because they enrolled in the warfront to fight and left behind their families and jobs in the home country. As a daughter of a merchant, I rarely saw dad at home because he was always somewhere traveling. Even when I grew up as a teenager and an adult, he was maybe 1/4 to 1/2 of the time seeing my growth. Because men work so much that they rarely see their wives and children, wives become the head of the family in the absence of these men.
When women were doing their domestic duties and social roles, men usually found their easy way out by staying cross-armed and rarely offered help as they belonged to the family or to the church. Men were good at pointing out problems, but they did not realize that they were the creator of the problem and therefore had to do something to change the situation. Men were good at getting mama and sisters to do everything for them, or sometimes mama as the only son of the family, to get all the attention that he desired. Men were interested only in their careers, leaving the family and church duties for mama, sisters, or wives to fulfill for them in order for them to enjoy the freetime for soccer, Gundams, and computer internet surfing. Men were complaining and getting verbally/ physically violent when things do not work their ways, which eventually lead them to psychiatric hospital because they drove themselves into sanity.
In the past, the concept of 'husbandry' was about the cultivation of soil applied to agriculture. Husbands were required to use tools and machines to make an open land ready for use. Men take the responsibility of protecting and caring for mama, sisters, and wives in the family.
My heart got tired of seeing the situation of women being the 'perfect housewife.' I rarely laughed because all the past life experiences got me depressed. Sometimes, I just wish that I could be young again and have all the girls' talk with my mother. As a woman, what makes me happy is to see my father, my brother, and my husband cooperate to build the family and make a constructive space for harmony. They are all healthy, responsible, kind, and sharing to one another. Being responsible did not mean just financial sense, but the presence of their bodies and the spirit of their minds to integrate with their family members and share some heart-warming laughters.
Lately, I was watching a lot of funny videos to put myself off the pressure of daily work, e-mails, and time schedule demands. I see my life as a new page at a new home, but I also very much miss the woofing times and the old decoration of my maternal home that fulfilled my days of loneliness and sadness with fun and joy! Hopefully, one day I could find a way to make a happy home soon!
When women were doing their domestic duties and social roles, men usually found their easy way out by staying cross-armed and rarely offered help as they belonged to the family or to the church. Men were good at pointing out problems, but they did not realize that they were the creator of the problem and therefore had to do something to change the situation. Men were good at getting mama and sisters to do everything for them, or sometimes mama as the only son of the family, to get all the attention that he desired. Men were interested only in their careers, leaving the family and church duties for mama, sisters, or wives to fulfill for them in order for them to enjoy the freetime for soccer, Gundams, and computer internet surfing. Men were complaining and getting verbally/ physically violent when things do not work their ways, which eventually lead them to psychiatric hospital because they drove themselves into sanity.
In the past, the concept of 'husbandry' was about the cultivation of soil applied to agriculture. Husbands were required to use tools and machines to make an open land ready for use. Men take the responsibility of protecting and caring for mama, sisters, and wives in the family.
My heart got tired of seeing the situation of women being the 'perfect housewife.' I rarely laughed because all the past life experiences got me depressed. Sometimes, I just wish that I could be young again and have all the girls' talk with my mother. As a woman, what makes me happy is to see my father, my brother, and my husband cooperate to build the family and make a constructive space for harmony. They are all healthy, responsible, kind, and sharing to one another. Being responsible did not mean just financial sense, but the presence of their bodies and the spirit of their minds to integrate with their family members and share some heart-warming laughters.
Lately, I was watching a lot of funny videos to put myself off the pressure of daily work, e-mails, and time schedule demands. I see my life as a new page at a new home, but I also very much miss the woofing times and the old decoration of my maternal home that fulfilled my days of loneliness and sadness with fun and joy! Hopefully, one day I could find a way to make a happy home soon!
Friday, March 05, 2010
The Ownership of Self-Reliance and Identity
This week, my emotions went through a roller-coaster ride. I could only concentrate on myself in making any betterment, because as I have made a big transition from teaching sp/ed to regular children professionally and moving into a new home personally.
I was very engraved by men and women who only engaged their own thoughts and pattern of behaviors, without working out anything that is 'in-sync' to support one another.
In fact, I felt deeply hurt for the fact that young men find other activities or pleasurable time over improving their status of deficiency in a commitment that they were unable to keep. I do not know how empowerment would work for men, because they also need the support, guidance, and help to express their thoughts, feelings, and actions to do a better job at what they want to do. For older women, I believe that the old wisdom of Mother Nature would help in guiding the expression of voice to the equality and freedom for humanity. Perhaps I do not possess good listening skills, I have been encountering some female voices that raise issues of discrimination and division between the old and the young. If we all could draw on our commonalities and work hard towards achieving the goal, we would all be winners in life to achieve new hope to free ourselves and be empowered!
ONE MOMENT IN TIME - Whitney Housten
Each day I live I want to be
A day to give The best of me
I'm only one But not alone
My finest day Is yet unknown
I broke my heart Fought every gain
To taste the sweet I face the pain
I rise and fall Yet through it all
This much remains
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
I will be
I will be free
Monday, March 01, 2010
What does it mean to play a piece of music?
Day 2
I always wonder about myself - am I not suitable to play at the piano? Why did I fail myself many times to achieve what I have to achieve?
After listening to some clips on You Tube, I see how the piano players are breathing the music into their being and performing as if they are dining with the composer!
My fingers are very stiff playing Brahm's Intermezzo No. 116. I'm struggling to find the melody line, but also trying to flow through the rhythm that gives life to the music. I don't want to sound a crippling woman. I want to 'fly like a bird'!
Playing thick chords is one of my very weak area. First, it is about the memory work. Second, it is about the technical work. I achieved only 6.5 out of 10 in my past exam. I really would hope to achieve 8.5 out of 10 in my coming exam!
Although marks is an important benchmark, I found myself most at ease when I want to make a sound for others to hear. In the past, I was a very shy, shy girl. I remember myself as a quiet individual who would not make a noise at all. There was no noise to the point that I didn't ever speak for myself. I didn't want to express my feelings. I wasn't feeling worthless of self, but I didn't think that anyone would notice me whether I talked loud or soft, discussed anything important or meaningless, or sang with passion or with wrong notes - I just passed through the stage of time with many opportunities missed.
When I reflected upon myself, I didn't love myself enough to love the world. If I love the music that I play, I want you to hear it and you will feel good. That's what I want to achieve in this stage of life! I really want you to hear some good music. You would feel good. You would remember it. You would find it warm in many years down the road to recall and cherish.
Lord - please give me the strength to persist.
I always wonder about myself - am I not suitable to play at the piano? Why did I fail myself many times to achieve what I have to achieve?
After listening to some clips on You Tube, I see how the piano players are breathing the music into their being and performing as if they are dining with the composer!
My fingers are very stiff playing Brahm's Intermezzo No. 116. I'm struggling to find the melody line, but also trying to flow through the rhythm that gives life to the music. I don't want to sound a crippling woman. I want to 'fly like a bird'!
Playing thick chords is one of my very weak area. First, it is about the memory work. Second, it is about the technical work. I achieved only 6.5 out of 10 in my past exam. I really would hope to achieve 8.5 out of 10 in my coming exam!
Although marks is an important benchmark, I found myself most at ease when I want to make a sound for others to hear. In the past, I was a very shy, shy girl. I remember myself as a quiet individual who would not make a noise at all. There was no noise to the point that I didn't ever speak for myself. I didn't want to express my feelings. I wasn't feeling worthless of self, but I didn't think that anyone would notice me whether I talked loud or soft, discussed anything important or meaningless, or sang with passion or with wrong notes - I just passed through the stage of time with many opportunities missed.
When I reflected upon myself, I didn't love myself enough to love the world. If I love the music that I play, I want you to hear it and you will feel good. That's what I want to achieve in this stage of life! I really want you to hear some good music. You would feel good. You would remember it. You would find it warm in many years down the road to recall and cherish.
Lord - please give me the strength to persist.
Monday, February 22, 2010
How to Be a Concert Piano Player
Day 1
This morning, my body woke up with a feeling of strange uneasiness and fatigue. My fingers were ready to play a prelude and fugue by Bach and a sonata by Mozart. My mind was full of excitement, as well as worries, that if my music would be well-accepted, appreciated, and listened to. It takes a good heart to make good music!
Socially, a pianist's successes and falls depend upon whether you can impress your audience or not. However, I honestly think that if a piece of music is well-rehearsed, well-practised, and well-presented, it deserves the gold medal and the deepest heart of the audience.
I don't believe in fame, because it can easily come and go. Or, having the fame and keeping it, it would be even harder. If you just let your natural light to shine, it will make a good charm. If your music is sincere, your audience will feel it that even the simplest form of music will touch the deepest part of their lives.
My journey as a professional piano player begins again one more time. Just like the Russian skater, Yevgeny Plyushchenko, I am back on the scene one more time =)
This morning, my body woke up with a feeling of strange uneasiness and fatigue. My fingers were ready to play a prelude and fugue by Bach and a sonata by Mozart. My mind was full of excitement, as well as worries, that if my music would be well-accepted, appreciated, and listened to. It takes a good heart to make good music!
Socially, a pianist's successes and falls depend upon whether you can impress your audience or not. However, I honestly think that if a piece of music is well-rehearsed, well-practised, and well-presented, it deserves the gold medal and the deepest heart of the audience.
I don't believe in fame, because it can easily come and go. Or, having the fame and keeping it, it would be even harder. If you just let your natural light to shine, it will make a good charm. If your music is sincere, your audience will feel it that even the simplest form of music will touch the deepest part of their lives.
My journey as a professional piano player begins again one more time. Just like the Russian skater, Yevgeny Plyushchenko, I am back on the scene one more time =)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
In honor of St. Joseph
http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/novena/joseph.htm
Sorry for being 4 days late to post this seven-day novena. It will end on the Feast Day of St. Joseph, which will be on Friday (Mar 19).
Day 1 - Foster Father, Father of Baby Jesus (Mar 11)
Day 2 - Virginal Husband of Mary (Mar 12)
Day 3 - Man Chosen by the Blessed Trinity (Mar 13)
Day 4 - Faithful Servant (Mar 14)
Day 5 - Patron of the Church (Mar 15)
Day 6 - Patron of Families (Mar 16)
Day 7 - Patron of Workers (Mar 17)
Day 8 - Friend in Suffering (Mar 18)
Day 9 - Patron of a Happy Death (Mar 19)
PS. Today is a special day because it is the St. Patrick's Day during the devotion of St. Joseph. My HOLY FAMILY is celebrating and partying in heaven!
Sorry for being 4 days late to post this seven-day novena. It will end on the Feast Day of St. Joseph, which will be on Friday (Mar 19).
Day 1 - Foster Father, Father of Baby Jesus (Mar 11)
Day 2 - Virginal Husband of Mary (Mar 12)
Day 3 - Man Chosen by the Blessed Trinity (Mar 13)
Day 4 - Faithful Servant (Mar 14)
Day 5 - Patron of the Church (Mar 15)
Day 6 - Patron of Families (Mar 16)
Day 7 - Patron of Workers (Mar 17)
Day 8 - Friend in Suffering (Mar 18)
Day 9 - Patron of a Happy Death (Mar 19)
PS. Today is a special day because it is the St. Patrick's Day during the devotion of St. Joseph. My HOLY FAMILY is celebrating and partying in heaven!
Fireproof Marriage
On a Valentine's Day weekend, my parish promoted married life by showing a movie called 'Fireproof Marriage', starred by Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea. We shared some popcorn, wine, and cheese for the social night. It was fun!There are several of my favorite scenes:
1. He Said/ She Said
2. The Train is Coming!
3. Salt and Pepper Shakers
4. The Cross
5. Breaking Free
6. Caleb's Apology
What triggers me most to think deeply about my marriage life is that the power of unconditional love. How do we find God as the center of our marriage?
I hardly say anything that is easy to achieve. Our marriage life has been very young for about one and half year. We are building our new home, planning for shared career stability, and getting ready for children in the near future. Finding God is in our relationship means to pray together, help one another, and sacrifice for one another.
In the movie, Caleb says that you should never leave your partner behind in the fire as a firefighter. Same as in marriage, we never leave our partner behind when there are challenges and difficulties in marriage life. We always have to work at helping one another to better the lives together.
As a woman, it is often challenging to understand what it means for man to appreciate a sense of respect. As a man, it is often challenging to understand what it means for woman to appreciate a sense of emotional stability. The kind of love that drives man and woman together is special, faithful, and holy. They turn to one another for every aspect of life support.
My father became widowed at a relatively embarrassing age of 65. It was difficult for him because his life support was plugged out when my mother passed away. However, the love of my parents remain in the family as my brother and I share insights about life that family come together no matter being fat or thin. For men fully embracing the concept of marriage is like talking French when they only know English, they come to rescue when crises arise and remain dormant when life may show growing signs of stability. Their emotion is deeply rooted in the achievement of social status, which ultimately defines who they are by their profession, instead of being what kind of person he is.
As a woman, I say for the ladies that our emotion is deeply rooted to the bonding that we share as husband and wife through anything in life. As the bride and groom come together, they come to share the body and blood of Christ together for building up the family and the church. They serve each other and care for one another without calculations. Instead of shooting bullets to one another firing the biggest war of the century, husband and wife transform into One Body to promote 'bulletproof' peace.
I hope that throughout the journey of marriage that this movie would constantly remind me of God's love to the source of strength and support to any challenges that we will encounter as a couple. As a Catholic, I would highly encourage all of you to be open to the teachings of 'Theology of the Body' - specifically how to be faithful to God and His given spouse to us!
As older people from time to time would love to tease me about marriage, I should always answer, 'I want NO DIVORCE - NONE!! PERIOD.' For husbands making a couple of little careless mistakes, wives are able to forgive and move on. Anybody cheats... period. I just wish to stay pure, healthy, and faithful in a holy marital union =)
The Mystery of Ghost Pine
Coming in 3 weeks, the celebration of St. Patrick's Day will be alive in shades of green decorated with shemrock! I hope that as this day comes, the spring is around the corner to shine =)My thoughts with the ghost pine remain as a tragic history in the MCS alma mater. I honestly believe that any trees deserve a good life to live, especially serving as an inspiration for urban inhabitants. The power of green is the natural force which allows us to breathe, be renewed, and be cleansed. In fact, the shaping of the current learning environment lies upon the hands of public school promoters which cast me doubts about the respect for the tradition of Christianity by the founders. The construction remains as a historical witness; however, the liveliness of the founding spirit and the wisdom of this old school has been gradually going away. Don't get me wrong - I love my alma mater; however, I just wish that the school administrators could also come into realization that this pivotal point means more than just conservation or even political drives of public education, it is also a demonstration to all former and current students, as well to the public, that they do not have the capacity to embrace an old tree, which is a failure to their educational core values - respect, love, and honor.
The Irish people carry symbols of their Celtic culture to celebrate the history of nation and of Christianity. They fled from famine, immigrated in hundred thousands of numbers, and followed the spirit of St. Patrick's. I found it fascinating that men and women can come to celebrate a form of new life through years and years in a form of commemoration. Sometimes, as urban people, we forget the past so easily. We constantly desire to be blessed with new things, new thoughts, and new relationships to flourish - however, don't you think that all these just come from nowhere? The value of recycle helps us presenting the same materials over and over, so that people feel refreshed - in either more or less costly ways.
The remains of ghost pine are still a mystery. Watching the news from overseas is just as heart-breaking as seeing the real tree to be chopped down into several pieces. It lives as old as my father, or even grandfather. May the Irish Blessing be with the spirit of the ghost pine - to continue to bless more people. Although it's physically 'dead', it continues to spread even more blessing in love that touches more the hearts of the young that we all remember - lest not forget.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Bonjour, tout le monde!
C'est mon premiere fois ecrire en francais ici!
BONJOUR - mes amis, ma famille, et mon mari!!!! Je t'adore!!!!
Aujourd'hui, j'ai donne la musique d'eucharistique en francais par Pere Marcel. Je ne sais pas parler les prieres, mais je les veux chanter dans la choeur a l'eglise. Je veux chanter a Dieu! My chanteur favorite est Celine! Sa chanson 'The Prayer' avec Andrea Brocelli est magnificent!!! Je veux chanter meme d'eux!!!
MON MARI - je t'adore! Tu est ma vie et j'espere que nous chanterons les chansons d'amour en francais =) Au revoir!!
BONJOUR - mes amis, ma famille, et mon mari!!!! Je t'adore!!!!
Aujourd'hui, j'ai donne la musique d'eucharistique en francais par Pere Marcel. Je ne sais pas parler les prieres, mais je les veux chanter dans la choeur a l'eglise. Je veux chanter a Dieu! My chanteur favorite est Celine! Sa chanson 'The Prayer' avec Andrea Brocelli est magnificent!!! Je veux chanter meme d'eux!!!
MON MARI - je t'adore! Tu est ma vie et j'espere que nous chanterons les chansons d'amour en francais =) Au revoir!!
New Year with New Hope!
Lately, I have fallen in love listening to a former HK DJ's radio shows. Her name is Chien Chien. She points out the funniest and the most interesting point-of-view to present issues around us! For instance, she would incorporate her love of animals into her speeches to describe human behaviors, or she would poke fun at people who are living in status quo. She now airs pre-recorded shows from LA, which you can find them here at: www.chienchien.netI would like to take the opportunity to wish my readers a very happy Chinese New Year of Tiger! Gong Hei Fat Choi!!
Recently, due to the Winter Olympics happening in Vancouver, all my friends, classmates, and former colleagues, are talking about the games and how Canadians perform in the worldly event. Because my father lives in China, he pays attention only to Asian competitors! (eg. Korean, Chinese, etc) I share the same spirit with my fellow Canadians on CBC everyday that I cheer for Alex Bilodeau winning the first Canadian gold medal on the home soil! Felicitations pour faire du ski par excellence! Last night, I was watching the medalist ceremony on TV airing from BC Stadium. The minute that the Canadian national anthem was played, Bilodeau was filled with tears in his eyes!!! I feel very proud of the Canadian sport of ski. I also come to realize that my husband's love in skiing will also inspire my kids in the future to be more competent in home sports! Yes, we both consider Vancouver as our home, and Canada is our home country.
Talking with my father on the phone, I share the sentiment of joy in celebrating Chinese New year of my motherland. I take the opportunity this year to call people up locally and internationallly, especially to the seniors to wish them a Happy Chinese New Year of Tiger! I was chatting with a couple of mothers and grandmothers on the phone - they all sounded very happy, joyful, and peaceful in the new year to congratulate the younger ones for their stage in life. I have kept on receiving many blessings to bear a 'little tiger' this year! As promised, I keep trying and hopefully one day, God will grant me one!
I also went to a very special movie for the Valentine's weekend - it is called 'Fireproof Your Marriage.' It was starred by Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea premiered on Sept 2008. It is a Christian movie that depicts a man who is a firefighter winning back the heart of his wife by embarking on a 40-day spiritual journey to draw strength, inspiration, and unconditional love from God to save their marriage. At first, I didn't particularly want to watch it, but our parish priest was present at the movie showing to watch with us which kept our feet anchored on our seat to watch together. I love the movie because it portrays the heart of the message about marriage that as husband and wife we need to make it work! The media for God is particularly important to show what and how is true romance that people need to work towards improving what they have, while thinking of finding a new one to restart again! We all encounter triumphs and temptations in our relationships, especially in marriages, that we can only be happy when we fully embrace unconditional love in our daily lives and draw on the strength to live out the challenges of every future days. I deeply thank our parish priest for making this happening for us!
FEB 14, 2010 was definitely a historically memorable day. I had a lot of fun with my husband on that day, celebrating the Valentine's, the Olympic gold, the Chinese New Year with my family. I am as 'confused' as McDull is in the picture, but I see that life is beautiful that we should take every opportunity to congratulate! Give thanks to God for all the wonderful blessings - here at my home, in Vancouver!!!
Monday, February 01, 2010
狗狗有格
如果你不喜歡狗隻﹐你有否想過生命當中不是只有人存在而已?
在這生物世界里﹐我們有著千千萬萬的鳥類﹐魚類﹐昆蟲類﹐爬虫類﹐等等﹐為何我們要選擇狗隻去帶回家呢?
我以前是一個狗主人﹐有一隻很可愛有善的金毛尋回犬﹐一起共渡了有十三年同窗的光陰。 轉眼間﹐因為老犬病而在上一年的春天離我而去了! 事隔有一段時間﹐雖然心情平覆了多﹐我知道對它最好的回答是常常想念著它﹐常常把它的故事跟別人講﹐因為狗和人的友情是一生一世的。 我們不能因為自己的自私而不對它們負責任﹐任讓其他好心人家去領養它們﹐或是去人道毀滅﹐這並非君子所為。
我是愛死我的狗狗'查理'小王子! 它在我生命里起了一個大的變化﹐因為它無事無刻也是十分平靜而友善﹐也對小朋友充滿耐性愛心﹐我自己的性格和情感也是變得較小時候多外向和平。 所以﹐它的離開是讓我難過﹐但是我充滿祝福的向它說拜拜﹐因為它能解脫苦難到永遠開心的地方去﹐所以不要想念我﹐但我會常常想起它﹐因為我會帶其他的朋友們去一起找它﹐去永永遠遠的愛它﹐保護它﹐照顧它。 分離並不是最痛苦的﹐我覺得人最痛苦是在世不能修身到天堂去﹐因為愛你的人還有千千﹑萬萬的動物在等著你去做你需要做的事情!!
狗狗是很有point, 很有格的! 希望我的讀者能多對有需要的狗狗打開心的門口﹐讓它們進入你們的心靈吧!!
在這生物世界里﹐我們有著千千萬萬的鳥類﹐魚類﹐昆蟲類﹐爬虫類﹐等等﹐為何我們要選擇狗隻去帶回家呢?
我以前是一個狗主人﹐有一隻很可愛有善的金毛尋回犬﹐一起共渡了有十三年同窗的光陰。 轉眼間﹐因為老犬病而在上一年的春天離我而去了! 事隔有一段時間﹐雖然心情平覆了多﹐我知道對它最好的回答是常常想念著它﹐常常把它的故事跟別人講﹐因為狗和人的友情是一生一世的。 我們不能因為自己的自私而不對它們負責任﹐任讓其他好心人家去領養它們﹐或是去人道毀滅﹐這並非君子所為。
我是愛死我的狗狗'查理'小王子! 它在我生命里起了一個大的變化﹐因為它無事無刻也是十分平靜而友善﹐也對小朋友充滿耐性愛心﹐我自己的性格和情感也是變得較小時候多外向和平。 所以﹐它的離開是讓我難過﹐但是我充滿祝福的向它說拜拜﹐因為它能解脫苦難到永遠開心的地方去﹐所以不要想念我﹐但我會常常想起它﹐因為我會帶其他的朋友們去一起找它﹐去永永遠遠的愛它﹐保護它﹐照顧它。 分離並不是最痛苦的﹐我覺得人最痛苦是在世不能修身到天堂去﹐因為愛你的人還有千千﹑萬萬的動物在等著你去做你需要做的事情!!
狗狗是很有point, 很有格的! 希望我的讀者能多對有需要的狗狗打開心的門口﹐讓它們進入你們的心靈吧!!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
找回自己...
how do i love you when you don't love me?
how do i love myself when i don't actually love myself??
in 2010, it is a new stage to start loving those who don't love me and to love myself more!!
our hands can be a source of healing towards others!
our marriage can be a source of faith for those are seeking to God.
in 2010, it is a new stage to start passing on a stronger message for bringing peace in our broken world!!
i have met those who deserted our friendship due to the search of higher SES...
or simply, those who do not keep promises that i'd rather let them go and pray for their future with a happier direction...
i used to blame any misfortune that i lost myself eventually!
however, if we can let God to enter our relationships and heal them, there is always a way towards peace that can embrace life in a greater dimension that we can ever imagine!!
i used to be blamed that i am not very forgiving...
they are all coming from the mouths of those who don't love me...
however, i will always love you all although you don't love me.
however, i will always love you in a way that is different than the way you claim to love me.
however, i will always love you in a greater way in forgiving your wrongs and forgetting our broken past.
will there be one day that you finally get to understand and stop blaming me for not loving you in the way that you perceive?
is that really my problem that our feelings can't be communicated??
is that really my problem that i could not express myself when my heart was in pain till numbness??
does it justify that you desert me and seek for a life that only is happy to yourself (without me)?
if this is a happy way for you, why do you have to come back to me and demand a way to satisfy your personal needs again?
i can never reconcile with those who think only about themselves.
if only one day, i can finally see heaven with my grandparents to nurture all of my grandchildren =) i can find peace to all these questions being pressed upon my shoulders in an ever demanding way. i long to build a rainbow with all the little children circling and singing for their future!! this will always be my goal...
how do i love myself when i don't actually love myself??
in 2010, it is a new stage to start loving those who don't love me and to love myself more!!
our hands can be a source of healing towards others!
our marriage can be a source of faith for those are seeking to God.
in 2010, it is a new stage to start passing on a stronger message for bringing peace in our broken world!!
i have met those who deserted our friendship due to the search of higher SES...
or simply, those who do not keep promises that i'd rather let them go and pray for their future with a happier direction...
i used to blame any misfortune that i lost myself eventually!
however, if we can let God to enter our relationships and heal them, there is always a way towards peace that can embrace life in a greater dimension that we can ever imagine!!
i used to be blamed that i am not very forgiving...
they are all coming from the mouths of those who don't love me...
however, i will always love you all although you don't love me.
however, i will always love you in a way that is different than the way you claim to love me.
however, i will always love you in a greater way in forgiving your wrongs and forgetting our broken past.
will there be one day that you finally get to understand and stop blaming me for not loving you in the way that you perceive?
is that really my problem that our feelings can't be communicated??
is that really my problem that i could not express myself when my heart was in pain till numbness??
does it justify that you desert me and seek for a life that only is happy to yourself (without me)?
if this is a happy way for you, why do you have to come back to me and demand a way to satisfy your personal needs again?
i can never reconcile with those who think only about themselves.
if only one day, i can finally see heaven with my grandparents to nurture all of my grandchildren =) i can find peace to all these questions being pressed upon my shoulders in an ever demanding way. i long to build a rainbow with all the little children circling and singing for their future!! this will always be my goal...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Radio Production
When I was a highschool student, the Career Prep program enrolled me to help with the production of advertisement in a studio close to Broadway. I remember how the voice production was very dynamic with the excellent presentation of a familiar voice in a London Drugs ad! It left me a good memory to be sitting in an enclosed room to record something fun!!
Because of my volunteering at church social teaching activities, I have had opportunities to transcribe tapes into Braille, visit 'big head' babies in the hospital, tutor younger students in public housing, and go to caroling on the streets when I was living in Hong Kong prior to immigrating to Canada. I love my experiences and would never think of relating all of these to my upcoming challenge in participating in the backstage of Chinese Catholic radio program with my husband in research and writing.
Due to my 'anglicized' cultural background, I would hope that my limited contribution to the radio production can continue to cultivate the roots of my Chinese heritage and renew the relationships of my family, relatives, and friends through the message of Christian love, joy, and peace. I was proud that I could write some nice Chinese characters in the past meeting of volunteers to represent the thoughts of the group =) Hopefully, I could integrate my love in music and faith into the writings of many stories of saints, etc. I would also hope that one day I can fulfill the dreams of my mother to become a Catholic teacher!
Because of my volunteering at church social teaching activities, I have had opportunities to transcribe tapes into Braille, visit 'big head' babies in the hospital, tutor younger students in public housing, and go to caroling on the streets when I was living in Hong Kong prior to immigrating to Canada. I love my experiences and would never think of relating all of these to my upcoming challenge in participating in the backstage of Chinese Catholic radio program with my husband in research and writing.
Due to my 'anglicized' cultural background, I would hope that my limited contribution to the radio production can continue to cultivate the roots of my Chinese heritage and renew the relationships of my family, relatives, and friends through the message of Christian love, joy, and peace. I was proud that I could write some nice Chinese characters in the past meeting of volunteers to represent the thoughts of the group =) Hopefully, I could integrate my love in music and faith into the writings of many stories of saints, etc. I would also hope that one day I can fulfill the dreams of my mother to become a Catholic teacher!
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